Mirages

What is the best thing to happen to a human being? Is it success? Money? Power? Love? Nirvana? A passion to die for?

People crave to become "successful". Yet more often than not the success leaves them with a more hollow, meaningless existence. “Now what?”, the mind asks. Or, "What if I loose it", it fears. The chase is generally more fun than the destination.

People crave for money. This is expected because 90% of the world's population is economically deprived. Money; like food, water and air; is a very important part of life. Yet one has to remember that it is just a tool. Nothing more, nothing less. Forget this and you will get lost on the road of greed.

Power is the most intoxicating of the lot. Once you have had it, you want it again and again. Yet for the one who is not able to control it, it can be totally destructive: for people around them and themselves. The one who can use it can really do a lot of things.

Love is another mirage people chase. Yet most forget that this chase can be successful only by knowing someone really close: themselves. If one has not known the soul, chances that they will be able to recognize their soulmate (even if they declared it) are one in a million.

Nirvana or God is the most complex of mirages as here most try to disguise their craving for power, money or love as craving for God. Knowingly or unknowingly. That state of supreme fufilment can only come to a person who is totally satisfied. For whom other cravings have lost sheen not by denial but by their natural course.

And sometimes it just seems worthwhile if you have a cause, real or invented, to live for. Again the same old cravings do enter this arena and make it more colorful. You may be a race-driver, an athlete, a musician, a singer, a social activist, a statesman, a lawyer, a designer, a writer, a poet, a developer... Anybody for whom what he does is what life is all about. But is it?

What else do you think we chase? The root of our restless human minds... What is your mirage?

Lessons From Death

What can death teach us I wonder today.

I really dont know but I can try to think and share. I think the knowledge, awareness and acceptance of death can either make one depressed and fearful or more alive. Depressed and fearful are easy to comprehend but more alive?

If we knew that we had all but a few days to live, I think it would really affect the way we live. The things we value, the things we speak and the things we do would change. First, greed will not make sense as you will know nothing is going with you. Next you will be nicer for fear of God or you would want people to have a good last memory of you. Then you would like to express all that you can to all those you couldnt.. To say those extra love yous and be with the ones you want to.. You would not care what the world thinks of you as what the hell, life is almost over. You'd want to do what you had post-poned all along if you still have the time. You would love more, be a better human being and live every second possible.. That is if you dont waste what you have in fear and self-pity.. Knowledge of death brings humility for you know how easy it is for the show to be stopped at the slightest whim of the director (Mr. God).

So, I live everyday as if it may be my last. That if today God comes and says "Time up Sunny boy" I dont have to think twice before moving on.. with no regrets that I did not do my best... Any moment can be your last..

In this vast cosmos millions of years old I am not even a speck of dust, either in size or in time of my life.. With each moment that passes life is ebbing away.. So I do some good, love my people passionately, do what I can today and smile.. Improves the quality of my life and my soul..

You can learn from anybody. Even death.

Guilts and Regrets

At some point in life I left behind guilt and regrets. Not that I regret it, I just feel inclined to observe and analyse its effects.

When somebody feels responsible for an event which they feel is against their moral fiber, beliefs, principles etc, a strong feeling of guilt and/or regret is born.

Some say that if (that is IF) the belief-sets are comprehensive, such guilt or regret can be helpful. The person will never repeat the same mistake again. Or so they think. Mistakes have this uncanny habit of coming back in disguised forms...

Guilt instills irrational fear and people tend to mark things and events as black or white. They tend to forget that life is all about shades of grey. Guilt or regret may also have severe psychological and even physical effects on people. Scientific studies prove that a strong feeling of guilt or depression can interfere with the working of the thyroid gland, leading to obesity and many health related problems.

So what am I trying to say? We should not feel guilty? Like a mercenary soldier who kills without regret, even for pleasure? Hold it right there! Not feeling guilty is not about becoming a psychotic, sociopath with "no regrets"!

What I intend to say is that the only healthy antidote to guilt is strength, awareness and responsibility. To do what is necessary, knowing and accepting the consequences with arms wide open. Feel the pinch: you will if you have a conscience. But don't let it over-power you, don't let it destroy you. Don't let it turn you into a dead stone afraid of taking risks and making mistakes. Learn and move ahead. Period.

In the end life is a beautiful gift. But the beauty is only for the one who dares to look beyond the dichotomy of good and evil, the one who takes responsibility for his actions with awareness, the one who has courage...

And for the rest there is no peace. Neither in this world or the next. They will just keep running here and there, crying and laughing on nature's beck and call, victims of their own mind and weakness.

The power to get there lies with us.

So does the choice to get there.

Rider Without A Face

I drive fast, zig-zaging my way through the impossible Bangalore traffic. I see that sucker stuck behind and give myself a cocky grin as I pass him by from the left side. And what's that? A red light in the distance on the impeding traffic junction. Now red lights are something I hate with all my fiery tropical blood. Like death, they are great equalizers. The screwed up communists of the road. No matter how fast you go, you will have to stop by it and wait for the ones you left behind. Seeing the looser I left behind catch up and smirk is the last thing I want. And yet the choices I have are limited to either stop or risk my way through the traffic out of my turn. I will decide when I reach there. If the traffic is light, I will take my chances. Cops? Can be a problem on a bad day but they are generally cool spectators as long as I don't bump somebody. The signal is here and I see no big traffic, so here we go!

Phew, made it and going strong. I know the law abiding guys that I have left behind and the car-waalas who have sweared and blown their horns as I have cut them out with my bike will be fuming somewhere back there, cursing the roads, the system, the traffic sense and of course me. Gives me an almost sadistic pleasure thinking of the poor guys. Ha! Look at me, I don't believe in cribbing. You outrun them, make the way or get left behind. You don't crib. I am where I am because I take risks, even at cost of others, to get ahead. You don't crib, that is for sissies. And this is just one of the roads.

I have defied misfortune and death. And I will continue to do so. At least that is what I hope. Traffic gets worse every day. People die and crib. But I am the untouched rider without a face that bugs many on the road. It is a hard world. Nobody cares. I don't care either. We will meet someday, I hope. Till then I have another red light to jump...

Analyzing Reservations

Reservations as an affirmative action have found place in several countries of the world. India is one of them. I was thinking about where does this idea of reservation come from and what is the real psychology behind it. Here is my take on it.

To poach is a human tendency. The classic story of the camel pushing the Arab out of the tent is an ugly truth of human behavior. The power flux has the ones at the bottom trying to get up and the ones up trying to maintain their status quo. It is a very animalistic thing and their is nothing very "human" or "fair" about it. You either win or loose. That's about it.

But may be that's not all about it. The Hindu scriptures say that when a man is in hell he does penance to come out of it. Out of the penance comes dominion. By reigning over the dominion a man falls down to hell again and the cycle continues.

A step ahead of poaching is parasitism- to somehow get things done without having to work hard for it. While poaching is relentless greed, parasitism is that topped with sheer laziness.

In society at different times different people have monopolized resources to repress a big part. What comes after that is, generally, a bloody revolution or genocide. Either way a new order comes up which monopolizes the resources for itself. Some make a pretense that all is being done to "equalize" and change. Nothing changes. Only the controlling hands do.

I see reservations as an instrument of reversing the power flow. Hence the repressed and the untouchables of yesterday will become the repressors of future. The villages in India today have still not let go the caste but the order is reversing itself. It is not about merit, development, uplifting poor or economy. It is about who is powerful at this moment and who controls. Nothing more and nothing less.

And there is no use lamenting about it. People who find it unfair will leave the country, die frustrated or work hard and make a mark in the private sector (provided private sector is not brought under reservations). It is not possible that ALL 50% of the reserved category guys will be incompetent duds. Some will be good too and that should keep the economy afloat. Government will get its votes. Only losers will be people who are not labeled as the "disadvantaged".

People talk about meritocracy. A true meritocracy is a very hard thing to achieve. In the end people get what they deserve. With 50% of people in India living a life of poverty things are hard. Development is an enemy of the state. Developed, well-informed people are difficult to mislead. Fortunately the Governments around the world do a good job of that. It is left to the individual to find his/her safe haven.

On the ending note, he was born poor but worked hard and played mean. When he finally got power, he became corrupt. And then he fell again to somebody who had worked harder and been meaner.. And that my friend is the psychology behind reservations.

Reading Till I Die

Stories fascinate me. They have always fascinated me. Any factual or fictional incident or information that is easy to read qualified. When my mother's stock of stories got depleted, she encouraged me to read. I guess I must have been really hungry for more as I started reading at the age of 6. It began with comics, fairy tales, children books. By 8 I moved to my first classic, Black Beauty. By 11 I started reading history and science facts besides the classics, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Enid Blyton. By 15 I had started with philosophy, mythology, religion, astrology, numerology, poetry, psychology. Non-medical made me read physics, chemistry, maths. In graduation, besides the engineering, I read about arts, architecture, form, semantics, cognition, nanotechnology, computers. A few years back I started reading about economics, finance, analytics, distributed computing, artificial life. I am 27 now.

Now I don't read as much as I used to. Till 15-16 years I was a genuine book worm. Still, a good book can be irresistible. The problem is that if I really like a book, I want to read it whole in one shot. I cannot leave it. The pain begins if the book is too long to be read in one day. Then it is almost as if the book starts reading me! I forget about everything(except my office work, papi pet ka sawaal hai..).

As I lay on my bed, hungry and sleep deprived, I read. My eyes ache and water. I still read. In this delirious stage I almost see all the characters jumping out of the book and saying and doing what I read: and I feel high. Don't even ask me how and why. I cannot see anything else, hear anything else, think anything else. And then, one day, the book finishes. Just like that. I can read only (at most) about 500 pages a normal weekday.

Although I know it had to be that way, it really feels hollow. You feel it should continue... And reading big books can be really painful the way I read it. Although I have learned to "cut it off" as I grow, it does happen sometimes. So these days I prefer movies, documentaries, Discovery and news channels. At least they wind up in time! It is almost like putting a drug-addict on alternative medicine. I am not going to read. Never again!

Well, that is after I finish the book I am reading.

And you?

Science or Art?

"Is the true value of civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than its scientific accomplishments?"

Science : the symbol of our intellectual muscle. Science : the magnificent, blatant, brutal display of human prowess. Our unmistakable stamp on the face of this planet can be summarized in this one word. Yet the statement claims that the true value of civilization is reflected in its artistic creations. What is so special about art?

If science is the strong skeleton of humanity, art is its beautiful body. Science is the criterion to judge a civilization's material prowess whilst art is the criterion to judge the spiritual prowess. A civilization with a strong technology is considered powerful and intelligent. One with strong artistic creations is considered creative and sensitive. Whilst science ensures survival, art makes that survival enjoyable. Both evoke respect and awe. So where should one look to find a civilization's true value?

One needs to carefully examine both of them to determine the truth. I think science has a definite advantage over arts. What use is any artistic endeavor if the belly is not full? Is any meaningful artistic pursuit possible without the comforts that the sciences bring?

A society with an excellent technology and poor artistic exploits is as poor with the one with vice versa, some claim. I beg to differ. A civilization devoid of strong scientific accomplishments is weak and impractical. Absence of artistic achievements indicates brutes, I may agree. But generally when science is strong, arts flourish. Rarely is it seen that a scientifically advanced civilization comes up which has no artistic achievements to its credit. Science makes life easier, gives you time to put into art. It has always influenced art though the other way round has not always been true. The medium has changed from clay tablets and stone to papyrus and skins, paper and canvas to computer screens. Science has enriched art over time.

To be fair, I may add this: although art does not always enrich science directly, it does enrich and “soothe” the human mind. This has long lasting effects on the ideas that control the forces of science. Yet it is science which will cure you when you are sick, defend you when you are attacked or make your work easier when it is tough. All in all, I don’t think arts reflect the “value” of a civilization. It was always science. And it will always be.