Human desires can be as endless and as pointless as human existence itself. Bipolar human existence is tragically funny. Existence: a desire to live and be different. Or the helpless mingling with the worn out dust of time?
The endless search for an absolute that satisfies all queries and brings everlasting peace is a good excuse for the creation to continue. What is that we search for? Intellectual satisfaction of being able to articulate complex scientific or theological theories? Or the simple joy of being loved and being able to love? To borrow from umpteen sources to make one impressive debate or few original lines inspired by experience? To find meaning in public approval and the ability to control people or of an equanimity that stems from knowing the self?
I don't know. I have more questions than answers with me right now. More foolish desires than wisdom. One thing that I do know is that I crave for freedom and joy. Absolute freedom and joy. Freedom from age, life, death, money, myself, thoughts and even God. Freedom to drop every label. Joy of being loved and being able to love in return, of seeing the world and learning new skills, giving gifts to loved ones and of becoming an instrument of good. I don't find any joy in being selfless. I just like being true to my nature, whatever that may be.
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