An Old Love Letter

There are times in life when all words are useless. I find myself in one such situation where all words, including the ones I am writing now, are useless. Utterly, completely, pathetically, totally. Yet this friend, if nothing else of yours, writes what he can and he wonders why.

You have some ideas and concepts about me, many of which are contradictory in themselves as you yourself said once. I will not attempt to clarify any of them.

You have some genuine and some unfounded fears. I will not try to allay any of them either.

You heart is very well "insulated". Nothing aimed there too.

You don't want to talk as you feel that even that will cause problems. I will not ask you to talk.

Now you feel we are not even similar remotely, what to talk of same. So our life together is guaranteed to be rocky. No comments here too. Good you think about so many things.

So, my dear, do you feel you have taken a decision you are going to regret, getting into a doomed relationship? Keep your answers, I am not looking for them either.

When it all started, I did not know how to react, what to say. It is still the same. But I am calm, collected. Cool as ice. Freezingly. And it just gets colder every day.

I could talk to you about faith, love and fear. Why bother with the "lecture"?

I could tell you how much I like you but that you already know.

From point of view of fear no guarantees are strong enough. If you cannot talk to me, even my utility as a friend is zero.

You cannot see my eyes, you cannot feel my hand in yours and you cannot feel my presence. Would that make any difference? I hope.

I can just tell you that somewhere, somehow what you do hurts. Just this much that I was always right being defensive and being straight about it.

The only way we learn to love is by loving. People talk of love as l-u-c-k. I believe we all earn our l-u-c-k, if that is important for us.

My faith takes me ahead. I see it as a rough patch that will subside. Your handling does hurt but that's OK. So be it.

Take your time: think, judge, sleep, decide. Do whatever. But remember that love cannot endure indifference. It is said that it needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low. And dies one day sadly to never rise again. If you still feel so sure that our lives together are doomed, it is still not too late. Why live with bitterness?

I am a lover. I believe we are all born for love. It is the principle existence and it's only end. If there is no love in life, life is useless. Even if you are on page3.

My liking, my talents, my experience, my sincerity etc. (cutting short before you say ego talking) seems to not matter at all. You still have to learn to live "we" like me... Who is this girl to Orion.. She is a girl with spirit and intelligence. She is a girl who wants to grow in life ,has strong roots and a tender heart. She is beautiful and her eyes tell all the stories you would ever want to listen. She is the girl I would love to spend my life with, loving her. But what does she want? Can she take it, digest it that someone can love somebody tenderly with all their heart on an innocent faith?

See, even when words are useless and there is nothing to write, I can still write an epic. Hope didn't hurt you more. I bleed if you cut me, told you so..

love

S