Giving Advice

“The best way to give advice to other people is to find out what they want and then advise them how to attain it.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

It is said in many different ways across various cultures that people who give unsolicited advice often get into trouble. Salt and advice should not be passed until asked for. There are a score of folk-lores and parables built around it in Zen literature and Hindu scriptures too. So, for starters, I do not believe in giving unsolicited advice and hence do not agree with the basic assumption of the statement that one wants to readily give advice.

Provided we are in a situation that we have decided to give advice, I agree that at least we need to find out what other person wants before advising him. The problem is how do you know what the other person wants? With no God given gifts of omniscience and no worldly qualification in psychology a lot of people can find this exercise, lets say, a bit difficult. Provided that they can do it or the other party clearly states it, possibly good advice can be given. Seriously. However a good advice cannot be function of knowing only what the other person wants.

The basic problem is that no two people have the same experience. So while giving advice one has to keep in mind that despite his best intentions the person in question may not be able to implement the advice in its spirit. This is precisely what makes the whole advice giving business so hazardous when one considers only the stated need of the other party. One also needs to remember that generally changes do not come overnight. So even if you know what the other person wants, any short term advice will seldom if ever work. Advice, if asked for, needs to take into account not only what the other person wants but also what he needs, the unpredictable human nature, long term nature of change and the responsibility giving advice brings. One has to also keep in mind the other person's sincerity and intention. If the person is not sincere or plans to use the advice to harm somebody then it may be better to not give it. If all these factors are not kept in mind, giving advice will not work for the benefit of the concerned person.